


It Wasn't You

by LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Communication, Fights, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:40:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12247182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou/pseuds/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou
Summary: During an argument, Magnus reacts in a way that confuses Alec. He needs to understand why.





	It Wasn't You

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone has a spectacular week.
> 
> Happy Monday.

"Are we seriously having this argument?" 

Alec didn't understand why Magnus made a big deal out of something he didn't think was important. 

"Alexander, you've been working day and night for the past few weeks. I barely see you anymore. You are wearing yourself out."

"I'm the Head of the Institute. I need to set an example for everyone. I can't expect them to do all the hard work." 

Alec heard Magnus groan and mutter something unintelligible under his breath. 

"What did you say?" 

"Nothing, darling." 

Magnus rolled his eyes which caused Alec to growl,

"No, you wanted communication. What did you say?"

"Why does it matter, Alexander. You aren't listening to me." 

Alec's nostrils flared, "What did you say?" 

"I said, you do all the work." 

"That's not true." 

"But it is, Alec. Do you know the last time we had dinner together? Three weeks ago. And you know why? Because instead of delegating, you choose to do it on your own." 

"Am I supposed to feel guilty because you're not my priority 24/7? I have responsibilities. Unlike you, I don't get to choose my hours." 

Magnus threw his hands up with an exasperated sigh. 

"Forget it. I'm done having this conversation with you. You aren't listening to a single word I'm saying."

Magnus turned to walk out of the living room, but Alec followed.

"You don't get the leave the argument because you are losing." 

Magnus spun around on his heels. Alec shocked by the grace his boyfriend had even in anger.

"I'm not losing, Alexander. I'm just postponing this discussion until you remove your head from your ass." 

"Take that back." 

Magnus' expression remained hard when he barked, "No. Get your head out of your ass and listen to the words coming out of my mouth, Alexander."

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!"

Alec took a step forward and threw one of his hands up to help articulate his point. The second he saw Magnus step back and recoil, the anger in his chest dissipated. He tried to reach for Magnus, but the warlock took another step back. 

"Magnus, are you okay?" 

The warlock straightened his back, "I'm fine. You need to go to work. I'll see you tonight, Alec." 

"Magnus..."

Something wasn't right. Alec knew it, but he let Magnus walk into the bedroom and close the door. They have had more heated arguments. Magnus has been ruthless in battle. He's heard the stories. What did Alec do to elicit that reaction? He retraced his movements in his head as he grabbed his gear. 

What did he do? He raised his voice. That had never scared Magnus. He moved forward and brought his hand up. The light bulb went off in his head. Alec made it seem like he was going to backhand him. 

Alec paced outside the bedroom door only to pause when he heard Magnus sob. He rarely cried, there was no way he could go to work. He needed Magnus to know that he'd never slap him, no matter how angry he was during a fight. 

The only option was to text Izzy and delegate work as Magnus suggested. Once that was taken care of, he walked closer to the door. He knocked softly, 

"Magnus, babe, can I come in?" 

Alec heard things shuffling around before Magnus opened the door. His eyes bloodshot, and slightly puffy. 

"I thought you had to go to work, Alexander." 

"I did, but something is wrong with my amazing boyfriend. He needs me more than the Institute."

Magnus' head tilted to the side, like a child when they don't understand what's going on. Alec couldn't help but think he looked adorable. He held his hand out to his boyfriend, hoping not to spook him. 

"Please, come sit with me. We have some things to clear up." 

When Magnus' hand slipped into his, Alec smiled. He tugged the older man towards the couch. The two sat close enough to touch, but Magnus dropped Alec's hand. Alec turned his face towards his boyfriend who wouldn't look up from his lap. 

"Magnus, I'm sorry. You were right. I wasn't listening." 

"Don't apologize, I was pushing you when I knew you weren't ready to talk."

"Don't. I was a jerk. You didn't deserve that, especially for just trying to help. The minute I saw the terrified expression on your face I knew I was wrong."

Alec hoped the sincerity traced in his voice would show in his eyes. He still needed to find out why that expression appeared in the first place. 

"Magnus, why did you think I was going to hit you? You have to know that under no circumstance would I strike you." 

Magnus finally looked up with shards of vulnerability piercing through his typically confident mask. 

"It wasn't you. For a moment, I was back in my childhood home with my stepfather. Normally if we argue, we aren't that close to each other. You've never been so close to me in a fight. You moved your hand up as he did before he'd slap me."

"Magnus..." 

"It has been centuries, Alexander. He's been dead for centuries. Even so, I felt the fear I did as a child. I never understood then why he hurt me. I just wanted my father to love me again. I know now that he was afraid, but it still hurts."

Alec wasn't sure how to respond, so he wrapped his arms around Magnus. He was always more of an action man than a wordsmith. Magnus small smile showed he received the message. _I love you. I won't let go._ The warlock's head fell to Alec's shoulder. 

"Thank you, my darling." 

"I'm sorry I was an ass. I'll make an effort to be home more." 

"I don't want you to work yourself into an early grave. Don't mistake that I don't think you're a good leader, you are. You just need to let people help you."

He kissed the top of Magnus' head while he pulled the warlock into his lap. 

"You know, you are a priority. No matter what I said earlier, you are so important to me. I am working hard to find Valentine, so you'll be safe." 

"I know, but what is the point of safety if I'm always alone? I am not asking you to skirt your responsibilities. I'm just asking for you to make yourself one. You don't see how hard you are working. Izzy told me you've fallen asleep at your desk three nights in a row this week." 

Alec knew Magnus was right. He's spent the past week at the Institute, only coming home for a change of clothes. Magnus deserved a boyfriend who was present. He leaned back into the couch, Magnus followed settling against his chest. 

"I love you, Magnus. I'm sorry I wasn't taking what you said seriously. Now that you mention it, I haven't slept well this week. It must be because I've grown accustomed to having my beautiful boyfriend by my side."

"I know the feeling. Nightmares have been keeping me awake. You know, I love you too. I've missed you terribly, Alexander."

"Do you want to turn in early? I think going to sleep early would good for us."

Magnus didn't respond immediately. He nuzzled into Alec, his nose grazing the crook of Alec's neck. 

"Can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course, Magnus."

Alec kept his arms around his boyfriend. Occasionally, he brought a hand up and down the older man's back. Using his love as a shield to keep the dark thought away from the man in his lap. The sun began to set, and the room dimmed. Alec wasn't used to silence. The Insitute was full of people asking questions and barking orders. Here in Magnus' loft, the whole world blended into the background. For the first time in weeks, he felt safe. He felt relaxed. 

He looked at Magnus, whose eyes were closed, and a smile on his face. The rays of the sunset painted a beautiful picture against his skin. The sound of his breath told Alec he was almost asleep. Alec shifted so they could fit comfortably on the couch lying down. Magnus didn't even stir. He brushed a piece of hair away from Magnus' closed eyes and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, Magnus Bane. No one will hurt you like that again."

Alec knew he wouldn't be alive forever, but he was here now. And that was all that mattered.


End file.
